The Real Thing is Back in Town
Coolville, Ohio
“Ask me if you want to know the way to Coolsville.”
–Rickie Lee Jones
Torching accusations and frosty rebuttals
seethed and sludged down social channels
angry and muddy as the flooded Hocking
collapsing bridges, eroding roadways,
forcing Hamlet’s famous question.
Coolville considers dissolving into Troy,
dissolution on the November ballot,
a solution adding to its sea of troubles.
Neighbor betrays long-beside neighbor,
friend loses sight of friend in the feud.
Had septic trumped sewer, or the chief of police
restrained his restraining, or the mayor
turned out to have his own well,
would factions have ever formed
and faced off in this Facebook uncivil war?
Voices protest the insolence of office.
The office rebuffs the proud man’s contumely.
By internal fission the village is doomed
but for the swell of a will to survive;
votes arrive in favor of staying the bodkin,
staying a village, of facing the stain and strain
of the quarrel, passing the test,
choosing to invest what capital remains
in chasing what settlers once held in their dreams.
Well the real thing come and the real thing go
Well the real thing is back in town.
NOTES
The epigraph is from Rickie Lee Jones’ 1979 hit song Coolsville.
Torching accusations and frosty rebuttals: Coolville is 4.8 miles south of Frost township and 3.5 miles west of Torch.
The flooded Hocking: State Route 144 was rerouted around Coolville in 2006 as a result of landslides that occurred on the banks of the Hocking and Ohio Rivers in 2005 and 2006. Because of the damaged bridge and nearby damaged roadway along the east side of the Hocking River, SR 144 was rerouted south of Coolville on County Road 59 to a new bridge over the river.
Hamlet’s famous question is “to be or not to be?” It begins Hamlet’s soliloquy in Shakespeare’s play of the same name, Act 3, scene 1. Other words and phrases that borrow from this same speech are sea of troubles (l.8), the insolence of office (l.16), the proud man’s contumely (l.17), and bodkin (i.20).
Dissolve into Troy: The Athens County Board of Directors placed the petition to dissolve the village of Coolville on the November 2022 ballot. If successful, Coolville would be absorbed by Troy Township.
Factions have ever formed and faced off: Dissolution advocates charged village government officials of various abuses of power and promised a lowering of utility bills. Village officials denied such accusations and claimed dissolution advocates of spreading misinformation on social media.
Had septic trumped sewer: Current utility rates have been impacted by a village loan to convert the village from septic systems to sewer after many of the septic systems were found to be untenable. Critics say village residents were not consulted about the loan (as reported by Sam Stecklow)
Restrained his restraining: One hot button for dissolution advocates stems back to the controversial arrest of village resident James Semour by Police Chief Scott Miller. According to Athens Messenger May 19, 2023, Seymour is currently suing the Police Chief for use of excessive force.
Had his own well: Journalist Sam Stecklow also notes that a former mayor resigned in 2016 amid accusations that he stole water from the village. See https://athensindependent.com/water-politics-and-bad-blood-fuel-coolville-dissolution-vote/
Staying a village: The petition for dissolution failed on a vote of 84 ayes and 125 noes. See https://athensindependent.com/coolville-votes-to-remain-a-village/
Chasing what settlers once held in their dreams: An article in the Athens Messenger, March 28, 1872, entitled “Troy Township” (page 9) offered this optimistic editorial on the future of Coolville:
“What the future of Coolville may be, after the railroad shall be pushed down the Valley, is hard to estimate. Should her enterprising citizens see fit to turn their attention to manufacturing and should they have capital within themselves to invest in that way should they so desire, Coolville may soon reach an importance that her early settlers never dreamed of as possible.”
Well the real thing come: the poem concludes with 2 lines from Rickie Lee Jones’ 1979 hit song Coolsville. Although this song has nothing to do with the real Coolville, Ohio, I find the resonances prophetic and poetic.